Against the odds of popular belief that our awakening is meant to be a full stop to all our problems and the happily ever after…The rude shudders of awakening can rip apart our age old ideas and leave us feeling lost, confused and sad than ever before.

Unlike the sweetest bliss and calm projections of the pictures of the sages..we have pitiably find ourselves in the midst of the chaos of both internal and external life. Experiencing all human emotions even more deeply like anger, dear and lust…all the list of emotions we are not supposed to feel once you have woken up.

The fundamental enquiry of ” Who am I” cannot be undertaken merely in the quiet meditative moment or the luxurious contemplation on the self. It’s a practical moment to moment spiritual work that needs to be cultivated as a reflex amidst all role play and performance of your life.

Upon repeatedly learning to enquire …the ego starts to get repeated dents on its false projections of being kind, balanced, peaceful, graceful etc etc. One begins to see how everything is anyways happening even when you are not it’s driving force. It can be a terrifying experience as it jars the idea that ” Obviously I could make it better…”

The slow vanishing Aham ( ego) is going to create immense suffering for you before it begins to die off.. and the strife of mistaken identity is going to confuse and conflict you like crazy. You may begin to wonder if you are actually losing it until you know it can never be owned.

I write this out of my own perception and personal experience only to offer some kind of hope to the dented ones out there.. Hold on, keep enquiring steadily into your own true nature. The jnana will set us free of all this conflict.

Love always..