Much of the important and valuable things in your life come with a price. Each choice you make carries a responsibility. So when your priorities are self-healing, sacred solitude, growing roots, loving yourself and making balanced and neutral self-love options for creating a healthier version of yourself, you can rest assured you are going to lose some close loved ones.
For most people, safety and familiar patterns sound less scary and a more balanced way to live their life. They are happy to grow at retarded paces when others allow them their growth. If not, they succumb to how others are used to seeing them. Their masks mean more to them than their honesty and self-love. They call these choices balanced and neutral options but essentially they are crouching under their fears of not getting left out from their tribe. They choose to call this a life of peace whereas essentially right under the garb of their peace lies their hostile aggressions, cruel patterns and unhealthy patterns of addictions to pain.
Pain can be denied but it cannot be healed with denial. Best to sit with your limited identities and the fears of losing them. Seeing yourself naked without feeling ashamed is the first step. Most don’t come to that starting point also. The subtle tendencies of attachment make them blind to their own pitfalls of sticky and unhealthy relationships which are based on …I lick your ass and in return…u do the same! They call this understanding and love whereas it is a stagnating Marsh of egoes.
So the first sign of living an authentic life is that you have a fall out from your familiar tribe. You get biased towards your own company rather than pleasing other people’s opinions and licking the leftover love they offer you when it’s convenient for them. So you become a loner in a way and yet somewhere u feel much better and lighter as you are not constantly living at the mercy of their opinions about you.
This loneliness may bite at you initially and your mind may make you want to return to the familiar late-night booze party which you so relished earlier, to the narcissist lover that fucked you when u wanted to be held and loved, to the pizza that made you sick when you could have opted for a salad and for a late afternoon rise when you could have hummed to the breeze at dawn. Each time you go back to your conditioned pattern, the new version of you experiences pain and misalignment and reminds you of your evolution beyond the mediocrity with which most live their life.
So if you are experiencing loneliness and heartful contentment in that solitude.. know you are walking the honest path of transformation you have chosen for yourself.
Ekla chalo re!